Descent Into Sin
by kelles
Summary: Pip gave up everything to save Seras Victoria during the war. After he has to watch her live the life he no longer can, dark feelings start to change him. This time he must protect her from himself. Manga based, spoilers. [C]
1. Default Chapter Prologue

**Authors note: This takes place in volume 7 and contains major spoilers. Written for the May FictionHaven challenge on the LJ community which was to write a fic based on one or more of the seven deadly sins. Thanks to vampkitty for her beta work on this chapter.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing **

**Prologue: The Sacrifice**

**

* * *

**Pip couldn't believe he had said the words even though he had heard them with his own ears. It was as if someone else was saying them. He didn't regret saying them and the soldier didn't want to take them back. He was just surprised that he would do something so unselfish. But it wasn't, really. Pip was going to die anyway – what was the harm in allowing her to drink his blood? If there was any chance of her surviving this fight, she needed him. It was kind of a nice feeling to the mercenary. It had been so long since anyone had needed anything from him.

"Drink my blood, Seras Victoria. Then we'll defeat that bitch together." His voice had been hoarse and it hurt just to breathe. He was pleased his migonette didn't waste any time in doing it. The last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was that if he had to die, this was the way to go. As she drank his blood, a swoon from the feeding filled Pip with a pleasure so intense that he would have moaned if he could have. This sensation was so much better then sex. He cursed the fact that he would have to die before it was even over. _I suppose it is better then never knowing this feeling at all._ And then the mercenary's world was immersed in darkness.

He woke up a few minutes later, not sure where he was. The Captain thought perhaps he was in the afterlife. It sure didn't look like heaven or hell. He was never religious at all. How can you be when you kill for money? But, Pip did believe in a higher power. He just never gave much thought to who or what it was. The mercenary always used to joke that he didn't have to bother being a nice guy – his place in hell was already reserved. _So where in the hell am I? _

Pip looked through Seras' eyes at his own body. The whole experience was so damn surreal. He gently nudged from inside to get up and get ready to fight. It was that moment when he realized just where he was. There was no time to think about whether or not he wanted to be there. They would both die if he didn't act quickly. Seras wasn't in any shape to defeat that vampire bitch. Pip knew that he had to take control of her body. He didn't even have to ask her – they both just knew it had to happen. He felt Seras relax a little, not go to sleep, just rest. That was the moment he took control of her body.

The bitch had the nerve to question his power? He would show her. Pip didn't remember much. When he was done with her, pieces of her tattooed skin were sprinkled all over the ground. After that moment passed, Pip slipped in and out of awareness. He saw his men and they recognized him inside of her. They saluted him as Captain for the last time. Integral said something to him about gold, silver, and blood. That crazy priest even recognized that Seras was different and said something about her looking normal but not being human but the insane priest smiled as he said it.

Pip tried to say conscious, he wanted to protect her but felt his mind drifting away. Then he heard Seras' voice as clear as if was his own.

_Pip, rest now. I'm safe – I'll wake you up if I need you. Thank you for protecting me._

Pip didn't argue – he was too tired. He drifted off to sleep and lost consciousness. He trusted Seras completely. The Captain just hoped she would wake him up before it was too late. He had no reason to worry. The war was over now and they were out of danger. Seras wouldn't wake him up until they returned to Hellsing.


	2. Chapter 1 Heaven On Earth

**Heaven on Earth**

Pip's soul rested inside Seras body for several weeks before awaking from its slumber. He might have slept longer if it hadn't been for the dream Seras was having. It was terrifying. He didn't even think that vampires had dreams. He was in the dream too and couldn't believe what he saw: He was trying to hurt her. The whole thing seemed so real. Pip blocked it out and mentally held Seras. She was crying in the dream and he hated to see her hurt. After a few minutes she stopped crying but he could not get back to sleep.

The memories of last week flooded his soul. He remembered dying, how good it had felt when Seras drank his blood, and killing that monster…in her body. He looked at the body he was in and used Seras' hands to feel it. He touched her arms, face, stomach and legs. Her skin was so soft and cool. How could he be a woman? A vampire? He moved a hand to squeeze the vampire's breast. It also belonged to him now, didn't it? He had wanted to do that since the moment he had seen them or no seen her. Maybe being inside of her wouldn't be all that bad. Seras must have been asleep because he was sure she would not let him get this far. Pip wondered if he should touch other places. Maybe she wouldn't mind since it was actually her hand and not his.

Seras moaned in her sleep. It felt so good but who was touching her. She woke up started as she saw it was her own hand. "What in the bloody hell?" She blushed embarrassed to be touching herself that way and moved her hand away. Then she heard some of Pip's thoughts. _Maybe she wouldn't mind._ And he was thinking of touching other parts of her?

_Pip, what do you think you're doing?_ She asked him inside of her mind.

_Oh, Seras, you're finally awake. I just woke up too. I was umm exploring my new body._ He explained.

_You what? This isn't your body Pip; it is mine! You can't just go touching it like that whenever you want. I'm not some kind of sex toy. Damn, even in death you are a pervert. You'll never get to heaven._ Seras lifted the lid of her coffin and sat up.

_Aww but Seras, being inside of you like this, is heaven. Who would want to go to heaven when I can touch you here…and there._ Pip used her hand to squeeze her other breast and stroked her quickly between the legs. He knew she had to be letting him because it was her body. Or maybe she was having trouble controlling him.

Seras screamed out loud. "Stop it, Pip! We only just kissed. If you don't I'll have to ask Alucard for tips on controlling you or maybe Father Anderson will exercise your soul."

Pip was disappointed. Being inside of the police girl had so many possibilities and she was not going to allow him any fun. _Okay Seras. I'm sorry, cherie. I'll try to behave. This is all so strange for me._

As much as she wanted to, Seras could not be mad at the former Captain. _Okay, Pip. It is weird for me too. Just ask me before you even think about doing that, okay?_

_Oui, mignonette._  
--------------------------------  
Getting adjusted to each other went smoother then either of them thought it ever would. Seras didn't feel so alone any longer and Pip really enjoyed being inside of Seras. Not only for the reasons one would think. Seras was strong and drinking his blood had made her powerful. When they went on missions, they shared her body equally. They fought the monsters like brothers on a battlefield. Even Alucard had commented on Seras' new abilities and he never compliment her.

Seras learned to enjoy some of the fringe benefits of having a man's soul inside of her too. Little by little she allowed Pip to explore her body. At first she told him to do it while she was asleep. Seras was still embarrassed with her body and sex. Just the mere mention of it made her blush sometimes. After what had happened with her mom, Seras had blocked all those kind of feelings and thoughts from her mind. Releasing that part of her made every experience incredible for Pip.

The first time it happened Seras was asleep again. Pip usually slept a little during the night to give Seras some "time alone." When they were both awake for too long, it usually led to an argument. Being in one body was different then just living together. It was not as if either of them could even get away from each other. So during the night he slept for a few hours and when Seras was asleep he would wake up and play. One of the things Pip had started doing was creating a fantasy world inside their mind. When he did that everything seemed so real. Inside their mind, no one existed except for the two of them. So far Seras denied remembering any of their fun but he had a feeling she was being less then honest.

Inside her mind they were on a beach – just the two of them. Seras had on a sexy black bikini. He had on cut-off shorts. Pip walked out of the ocean to the blanket that Seras was laying on, the cold ocean water dripped on her bare skin. Her bathing suit straps were already undone so she wouldn't get a tan line. Pip pulled them down and exposed her bare chest. He did nothing but stare for a few minutes. Pip couldn't believe just how beautiful her body was. He had been with other women before but none of them came close to Seras. The mercenary had not loved any of those girls. Could love really make someone look more beautiful?

Inside the dream he kissed her breasts while in the real world he caressed her with their fingers. Pip kissed Seras places that had never been touched, made her feel sensations she had never felt. When they both could not wait any longer, he laid his body on top of hers and pounded into her until they both had they both had their fill. In both the dream and real worlds they climaxed together - one of the benefits when you share a soul. Pip could not deny that he could get used to the whole multiple orgasm aspect of being a girl.

They enjoyed each other like this a few times a week over the next several months. Pip would have preferred it every day but like so many other things, they compromised. Neither Integral nor Alucard quite comprehended how they got along so well. The vampire thought Seras should control Pip, that he should be her servant. Integral couldn't believe that the two of them didn't argue. What others thought about them didn't matter – they had found their piece of heaven here on earth.

* * *

The kiss had happened when Pip was asleep. He would wonder later if she had planned it that way but she had not. The kiss had just happened as those kinds of things often do. It certainly had not been something that Seras had planned. Pip was more then enough for her and she certainly thought that he would object. _No, the pervert would probably want to watch._

The whole thing had started innocently enough. Seras had been having her weekly meeting with Integral. It was something they had started after the war. Once a week they would meet, usually in the garden if the weather was nice, and talk about Hellsing, London, and sometimes Alucard. Seras looked forward to the times with Integral. It was not often that she got to see her personal side. Besides Pip, Seras didn't get a chance to talk to other people. She had, however, found herself looking forward to their weekly chats more and more.

"How would you feel about training some new men?" Integral asked Seras. She noticed something different about her but couldn't place her finger on it.

"Training, my own unit? I would love to, Sir. It sure would be different. I always wanted to be a Captain." She beamed at Integral.

"Yes, the Queen has secured some funds for 100 men. Since there is no immediate threat, I want them to be well trained – prepared for anything. I think we'll hire 150 and you can choose the best ones."

Seras nodded. She felt honored that Integral was entrusting the training of new men to her. It was then that she felt Integral's warm hand on her shoulder. It felt different then other times when Integral had touched her. The touch was just so…inviting. Seras turned to her and here in the moonlight it struck her how beautiful her boss was. She had always thought Integral was pretty. Tonight however, if Seras had been human, Integral would have taken her breath away.

"I know you'll do fine, Seras. You've earned my trust and my gratitude. Although I wasn't so happy when you first came to Hellsing, I am now." Integral grinned at Seras and she still had not moved her hand from the vampire's shoulders.

Seras couldn't resist touching some part of Integral. She looked too good not to touch. Her dark skin made her blonde hair almost illuminate the garden. It was her hair that Seras touched first. She ran her fingers through it slowly, enjoying every touch. Integral sighed and closed her eyes. She seemed to be enjoying the moment too.  
Seras remembered what Pip had told her. Life is short; we have to take chances. If we don't we might feel nothing but regret. She decided to take the Captain's advice.

Seras couldn't believe she had the nerve to do it – although she had dreamt of it for so many days. She put her hands behind Integral's neck and quickly kissed her on the mouth. Seras thought that the boss would push her away. The kiss had been such a clumsy attempt. Instead, Integral had pulled Seras closer to her. It had been Integral who slipped her tongue inside of Seras' mouth. The moment was almost majical. The two women kissed and held each other in the moonlight for several minutes. Who knows what could have happened if the rain didn't start pouring down.  
------------  
Seras had told Pip about the kiss as soon as he woke up. The two of them shared everything and kept no secrets.

_Pip it was amazing. I mean I would rather be kissing you but she just looked so beautiful with her hair shining in the moonlight. I just could not, not kiss her. I remembered what you said – about taking chances. And I did. I thought for sure she would have pushed me away or banished me to the basement! I mean what could Integral like about me?_ Seras talked to Pip inside of her mind.

_I can think of two things, Seras._ Pip laughed. _No, what's not to like about you? You're pretty, funny, usually in a good mood, and you're one hell of a good shot. I should be mad at you though, Seras._

_Mad at me? You're not jealous of Integral?_ This is what she had been afraid of.

_Hell no, Seras. I'm mad because you didn't' wake up! I would have loved kissing the boss._

_Uggh! I should have known you would have that reaction. You are just such a pervert! And don't you dare say that I wouldn't want you to behave differently. It may be true but it still doesn't change how crazy you drive me._

Seras would remember that as the moment when things started to change. The change was so subtlem, one who wasn't trained to pay attention to details probably wouldn't have noticed. She was, however a former police girl. As a human, Seras had been trained to pay attention to every small detail, no matter how insignificant it seemed.


	3. Chapter 2 Sweet Dreams

Seras walked on a deserted street in the East side of London with so many thoughts running through her mind. Pip was being curiously quiet lately so it gave her a rare chance think without him intruding. She loved him dearly, now more then ever; she had found herself growing fonder of those moments when her mind was silent. Still, it was him that Seras was thinking of.

As Pip would have said himself: Something was amiss. Seras was worried about him but when she tried to talk to him, ask him what was wrong, he blocked her out. Typical male, she thought. He insisted everything was perfectly fine; that he was just bored but she knew there was something else. His behavior had just been so odd as of late. Seras couldn't quite put her finger on it but it had all started with the kiss, the night she had kissed Integral.

Seras wondered where Alucard was. He was supposed to be meeting her. There was a laboratory suspected to be run by Millenium survivors. It still amazed Seras that no matter what happened, a few members always seemed to survive. She lusted for their blood. They had taken away so much from her, from Hellsing. She would kill every last one of them.

As she walked, Seras grew more worried about the Captain. Still he was quiet; was it because he was sleeping? She made a mental note to talk to Alucard about the uneasiness she felt when Pip was awake. It was more then boredom, much more but Seras didn't know what. His withdrawal worried her as well. Pip said that he was doing it for her, so she could grow stronger. Seras knew that he was right. She couldn't depend on him forever. Seras couldn't deny that she liked winning on the battlefield without any help from him or her Master. She wasn't always comfortable liking it but destroying other vampires and protecting Hellsing satisfied a need in her. It was a need, thanks to Pip, that she would no longer deny. He had helped her embrace it.

_Well, I guess the Captain is good for something,_ _Seras Victoria_. Alucard spoke inside of her mind_. I would prefer if you stop daydreaming and pay attention to your surroundings. Don't you feel the enemy, Seras? They are practically right behind you._

Seras jumped at Alucard's words. She emptied her mind of all thoughts except right here and now. She concentrated on the atmosphere around her. The air did feel different, the enemy could not be seen but they were here. A sinister smile formed on her lips. Seras could barely wait for them to appear. _I'm ready, Master._

Out of nowhere three vampires, all young teens, jumped down from buildings. Seras sighed in exasperation. When would the enemy send her vampires that were a challenge? She could barely feel their power, which meant that they were weak. Still, she was hungry and blood from a vampire sure as hell beat the bags back at Hellsing.

"Well, what is a pretty young thing like you doing all alone down a dark deserted street?" The leader of the trio, barely more then a boy himself, was dressed in studded leather. He laughed wickedly and looked at the other vampires.

Seras glared at him and grinned showing her fangs. He took a step back while trying to look unaffected by her condition. "Excuse me, but I see four of us here. I wouldn't call this street deserted." She could feel Alucard's presence nearby and hoped he wouldn't interfere.

"Well then, I'd say that you have bad luck. There are three of us but only one of you. Do you know how long it has been since any of us have gotten laid? And now a pretty young thing, one of us, appears out of nowhere. Are you going to cooperate or do me and my buddies get to take turns fucking you and holding you down?" The pathetic excuse for a vampire grinned at Seras and started to move closer to where she was standing.

Seras smirked; she couldn't wait to destroy the bastard. Before he reached her, Seras launched her attack. She punched him hard in the gut and face; dislocated his shoulder. He cried out in pain and she laughed. She could just feel that he had hurt many girls, both vampire and human. Not anymore, she thought. Seras kicked him hard in the groin. While he was still reeling from the pain, Seras tried a trick Alucard had taught her recently. She punched him as hard as she could in the chest, impaling him through his heart. He didn't die right away. She must have missed his heart. But he was immobile. Seras glanced over at the other two who had started to walk away. _Some friends they are, _she thought. They didn't deserve to live either. _Millennium scum._ She pulled out her gun and shot them both in the back. One bullet apiece killed them both.

She walked over to the supposed leader of the bunch, bent down and pulled him closer to her. Seras hated to drink his blood, he disgusted her but her hunger was at the point of blood lust. She sunk her fangs into his neck and bit him hard. She devoured his blood until his death was assured. He had hung onto to life as long as he could. When she was finished draining him, Seras got up. Just as she thought, Alucard was learning against a wall and watching her_. Lazy bastard_, she thought.

"Master. You didn't need to come, they were pathetic." Seras explained as she wiped the blood from her face.

"So tell me Seras, who did the killing this time? Was it really you or did the Captain help?" Alucard studied her trying to determine her answer.

"Can't you tell? It was me. Pip hasn't felt much like fighting lately. I kind of miss fighting with him but still I had fun."

"Oh, now that is strange. It is for the best though, Seras Victoria. You are of my blood and you shouldn't need anyone's help." Alucard responded.

"Yes, but I don't know. Something is just not right with him. I feel something dark.

Alucard nodded knowingly. "I thought that it would come to this."

"What? What do you mean, Master? You were never in love with the souls you held inside of you. How could you know?" Seras asked.

"Seras, don't presume to know everything about me. When I was younger, well I wasn't in love, but I guess you could say I had a certain attachment to them. I gave them too much freedom. Things got very, very dark." Alucard smiled at the dark memory. "Be careful, Seras. I wouldn't want to see the Captain win when you have come so far. You are mine after all." Alucard patted her on the head.

"But, Master. It is different between Pip and me. He loves me. It Pip that wanted to give me more freedom, to fight on my own. He's nothing like the souls you have inside." Tears started to form in her eyes.

"Again Seras, you know nothing of the souls inside of me. There is a reason you feel that darkness. It is a warning – pay attention to it." Alucard looked around. It was another beautiful night; a night not unlike the one when he had first met Seras. "Shall we walk back, Seras? It is such a fine night for a walk."

Seras nodded. It wasn't as if she could say no to him. The truth was that she would rather go back to Hellsing alone. She admired her Master, his power, but he still did scare her just a bit. As they walked back, Alucard told her about some missions planned in the next week. She nodded as he spoke but her mind was elsewhere. She felt that dreaded emotion again. What was it? Fear? Worry? Or maybe distrust? Alucard's words rang in her ears: Be careful Seras; I wouldn't want the Captain to win, and there is a reason for the darkness. Seras found herself wondering how she could even think Alucard was wrong about any of this. He certainly had much more experience than her with trapped souls. Seras decided to take the darkness more seriously. She just hoped that he was wrong.

When she was asleep, he woke up. He actually had been awake during the fight with the three vampires. Pip had learned to hide from her. At first he had done it for her. After the war had ended, he sensed Seras was still relying on his strength. He would have done the same to any of his men. There was still that part of him that had felt like her Captain. Ridiculous, he told himself. He had nothing any longer…but her. He had watched her fight those monsters with so much conflicted emotion. Pip had been proud of his girl. Of her strength, her power, and especially her courage. How he wished that had been all he felt. The darkness within his soul was growing. A part of him resented her, hated that she was free and he was not.

This was why he kept quiet, the reason he hid from her. Lately, when he watched her in battle or even talking to the boss, Pip had started to envy her. He wanted to be the one fighting, the one talking to Integral. Pip found himself thinking about doing awful things, hurting Seras or trying to take control of her body against her will. This is why he withdrew her. Pip was a man of his word. He had promised to protect her and he would not let her down. Death had not changed who he was. Pip only hoped that in the end, he would be able to protect her from himself.

Inside her mind as she slept, Pip pulled her head onto his lap. They were somewhere far away from here. A place where there was no violence, no blood, no death – just beauty. Pip didn't know if the location came from his mind or hers. When he entered Seras' mind when she was asleep their minds truly melded into one. They sat on a grassy hill overlooking a lake. The sun was out but they sat under a huge oak tree. Pip cradled her head on his lap gently not wanting to wake her. He stroked her hair, her face and back. Although he never would tell her, moments like these were so much better then sex. There was closeness in the moment that could not be achieved even in sex. He would deny ever thinking such a romantic thought if she had heard him. Admitting how he felt would have been too painful for him.

The time they spent together in dreams was the only thing keeping Pip sane. He was torn between the darkness he felt and his love for Seras. But in their dreams it was all was perfect. There was no doubt, jealousy, or even regret. The only thing that existed was them. As Pip drifted off to sleep with Seras still resting in his arms, a tear fell onto his cheek. He wondered for a second why he would cry. Never before had he been this happy. Pip smiled, telling himself that it was a tear of joy before surrendering fully to sleep.

When they awoke in the evening, all seemed right with the world. Pip was not resting or pretending to. Seras was happy to have him back. She recalled the dream and smiled. Seras wished that somehow she could give him back his body. He had sacrificed so very much for her. Still, even if she could give him some sort of freedom, it wouldn't be the same as him being alive. Alucard had told her that she would still have control of him if he wanted and it would take years before she was strong enough to recreate his body's form. With the darkness she could feel from his soul, Seras wasn't sure it could be soon enough.

As she was cleaning up her room, Seras felt her Master's presence. It seemed that since the war he paid a little more attention to her. Not that much, but it felt good to know that he cared for her in some sort of way. Alucard formed from mist. She could feel him pry into her mind. She didn't resist. Seras had learned the hard way that resisting her Master's power was painful. She knew he did out of concern for her.

"Master, are you quite done yet?" Seras asked getting a little irritated.

He patted her on the head. "Yes, Seras Victoria. It seems things are a little better with the Captain. I don't sense the darkness that I did earlier."

"Yes, things do seem better. We had a nice dream last night." Seras smiled remembering being in Pip's arms.

"Oh, it was that kind of dream. No wonder he feels better." Alucard chuckled. The Captain was a man after his own heart. Not that he could blame him. Seras was not a bad looking girl. Except for her hair. He would have to teach her how to change her appearance.

Seras had to restrain herself from hitting him. "You, Master, are as much a pervert as him! It wasn't that kind of dream. Why is everything about sex with men?"

Alucard smirked. "Sir Integral would like to meet with you at 10:00 PM about some new responsibilities. Make sure you are not late."

"Okay, Master." Seras said and watched him leave. She felt that he wasn't telling her something. But what?

Alucard knocked on Integral's door and waited for her to invite him in.

"Yes, Alucard? What is it?" She asked, not looking up from mail she was going through.

"Seras. Something is not right with the Captain. She is in danger."

"From Pip? He saved her life, how can he be a danger? He doesn't even have a body, Alucard." Integral replied.

"There are many things you don't understand, Master, about a vampire's possession of other's souls. He is a threat, Master. I have felt the darkness the last two times I met with Seras. It seems better today, but it is still there."

Integral smiled at Alucard. "If I didn't know you better, I would think that you were actually concerned about your servant."

"Well, she is of my blood, wouldn't that make her my child? Whatever happens, she will have handle the threat on her own. I just wanted you to be aware, Master."

Integral nodded. "You know, Alucard, you could help her if you are worried."

"Me? Worried? Don't' be ridiculous." Alucard dissolved into mist.

Integral chuckled. She knew that somewhere in that twisted mind of her servant's, the git was worried.


	4. Something Is Amis

**Chapter 3: Something Is Amis **

Her concern was growing for Pip. Sometimes he would stay away from her for days. When she would question him he would just joke about it and tell her not to worry. But, how could she not be concerned? Something was wrong and he was pushing her away. She hoped it was just temporary and soon the old Pip would be back, begging her to take showers all day long so he could look at her body. She grinned at the thought. Then, she realized that the last few times she showered he had not even woken up.

_Seras Victoria, are you ready to go on the mission we discussed yesterday?_ Alucard asked her through their mind link.

_Yes Master, I'll be there in a few minutes._

Seras finished getting ready and met Alucard in Sir Integral's office. They were discussing something but stopped talking as she entered the room. Seras thought that she heard them mention her name, and Pip's. "Master, I'm ready." She said.

"Good. I've decided that you can handle this mission alone, Seras. It should be nothing more then a handful of weak vampires. If you get into trouble, I'll know. With the amount of power you now have, you should not need me on every mission."

"Yes, Master." Seras smiled; finally Sir Integral trusted her to go on missions alone. They gave her the details of the mission and Seras left at once. She formed two dark shadow wings and flew to her location. Seras had to admit it was one of the perks of being a vampire that she enjoyed.

As Alucard watched his fledgling fly he couldn't help but be disappointed. _Why does she use wings when it would be so much easier to turn into mist?_

"Do you think this is wise, Alucard?" Integral stood next to him and learned on the terrace railing.

"It's the only way, Master. He won't even talk to Seras when I'm around." Alucard glanced at Integral. He could smell her delicious blood and wanted a taste more then anything. He stroked her hair affectionately. He wished Seras could be more like his Master.

"Are you going to watch her?" Integral asked, closing her eyes. Alucard's touch was hypnotic but felt wonderful. She would have to be careful.

"I suppose I should, Master." He leaned in to her ear. "I would rather stay here with you, Integral."

As tempting as the thought was to her, she had to deny herself. And him. Doing anything but would upset the balance of power between herself and the powerful vampire. She pulled away from him and walked back inside. "No, you'd better go."

Seras did a sweep of the building and did not find or even feel anything. She wondered if it had been a false alarm. She looked at the map again. _What am I missing?_

As she was getting ready to give up, she heard **his** voice.

_Cherie, do you need my help?_ His voice asked softly.

_Yes! Pip, where have you been? I've missed you._

_And I've missed you and your beautiful body, but now is not the time to talk. I need to help you locate the monsters._ Pip wondered to himself if this was wise. His darkness always grew when Seras fought. It might be harder to control. He pushed the thought aside. _I'll just lock myself away before the fight._

_So Pip, do you see anywhere I missed? I've been all over this bloody building._ Seras sighed. She was wondering if this was some sort of stupid test of Alucard's.

_Look Seras, at the bottom of the map. I think it is in the basement. There is a door._ Pip explained to her.

_I don't remember seeing a door there. I might have missed it._ Seras headed back to the basement. She could feel Pip there although he was silent. It felt good to have him back. Once Seras reached the basement, she found the door. It had been hidden by boxes. She sensed vampires on the other side. _Are you ready, Pip?_ She asked him.

_Yes, I'm ready, Cherie._ Pip had decided he would wait till just before the fight. There was no harm in that was there?

As soon as she opened the door, shots were fired at her. Seras grinned. She was going to enjoy consuming these monsters.

Pip could feel her blood thirst growing as well as his darkness. He wanted to see her kill these monsters and taste their blood. It had been so long since he had fought or even watched Seras fight. And no harm could come from just watching. He watched as Seras ripped the vampires' limbs off, as she sunk her fangs into their neck. Pip could feel her exhilaration as she consumed the blood of the first vampire. How he wanted it to be him.

_Seras, let me take over your body, like I did in the fight with Zorin._

_Not now, Pip._ Seras responded as she was hit with gunfire in her back. It took her a minute to heal but now she was pissed.

Pip used her anger to fuel his darkness and power. How could she say no to him? **He had saved her life**. She would be dead if it wasn't for him. His soul was the more powerful of the two and overtook hers. She was still present but had no power to stop him. Now it was she who watched.

Pip felt the power of the other vampire inside of their body and he wanted more. He turned on the vampire who shot them in the back and ripped into his neck with her fangs. Pip drained the vampire and threw him down. There were only two vampires left. They both looked at what he had done and started to run.

"I don't think so."

He used her speed to catch them both. He held one tightly under her arm as he sunk her fangs into the other's neck.

"Please, please, leave me alone. I-I-I promise, I'll leave London. Just don't hurt me." The last vampire was a young girl who was quite appealing to the eyes. She trembled as Pip approached her.

Pip could feel what he was about to do was wrong, that he shouldn't do it but he couldn't stop. And she was a monster wasn't she? Seras just killed several vampires; how was this one any different?

"Shhh, Cherie. I promise it won't hurt." He pinned her against the wall and sunk his fangs into her neck. Her blood was the most delicious thing he that he ever tasted. It was so much better like this. He didn't have remnants of the taste like he did when Seras fed. He didn't have to feel her pleasure second hand when she fed. The sensation was only his. And he wanted more. Pip continued to feed, draining the vampire of her blood.

Watching this from inside her body but unable to stop it, Seras was horrified. She screamed at him to stop. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. Seras pushed her will but was not strong enough to overcome his power. What if he didn't let her regain control?

_Seras Victoria, it seems the other vampires are the least of your worries._ Alucard spoke inside her mind.

Seras was relieved. He was here, somewhere nearby. Maybe he would tell her what to do.  
_Master…I don't know how it happened. What do I do?_

_There is nothing you can do, Seras Victoria. I suppose I'll need to take care of it._

Seras sighed, resigned to her situation. She hated the idea of Alucard rescuing her. He would never think she was strong if she needed him to save her. This time she had no choice. But, never again, she told herself. _Fine, Master._

_Don't sound so disappointed, Seras._

She watched as Alucard materialized just a few feet away. Pip dropped the female vampire and turned towards the Nosferatu.

"I think you've had enough for tonight, Captain." He said, walking closer to the body that contained the souls of his fledgling and the mercenary. Alucard grinned as he felt his fear. _Now - Seras. He is getting weaker now. Take control._

Seras could feel Pip's strength dwindling. She concentrated and wrapped her soul around his, trying to push him away. It was hard at first, but then she felt him give up.

_Mignonette, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened or why._

Seras would have kicked him in his balls if he had been there in person. She did not respond to him but addressed her Master instead. "Master, I'm back."

"Good, Seras. It is about time. Let's return to Hellsing."

Seras kept waiting for her Master to yell at her, tell her how pathetic she was for allowing Pip to control her body. But it never came. She didn't bring up what had happened and neither had he. The whole thing was just so bloody bizarre. He had only warned her that the next time it happened, he may not be there to help. When she asked him what would happen then, he only told her that if she didn't know the answer to that question, she was more pathetic then he thought.

The truth was that Seras did know the answer to the question; she just wanted to hear him say it. She would be trapped, unable to control her own body's actions like she was for those awful minutes when Pip attacked the young vampire. The attack had not been the worst part, even though it had been bad enough. She could still hear the young girl's voice in her ears, begging for her life. The worst part of the whole ordeal was the feeling. She felt a darkness in Pip that had never been there before. It had chilled her to the very bone. Although she never thought it possible, the darkness rivaled that of her Master.

She was so furious at Pip for using her like that; she didn't talk to him for days. He tried, told her how sorry he was but she blocked him out and told him to go to sleep. Seras just couldn't deal with him. She no longer felt safe and it was because of him. She had asked Sir Integral for a week off from missions. She had to figure out how to control him. Seras even found herself wishing she could control him like Alucard controlled the souls he had consumed. But, then she would be as heartless a monster as him.

Pip couldn't stand it. She would not talk to him. He had been living in silence since that night: The night when he fucked everything up. If only he had listened to the voice inside himself that told him it was a bad idea. But no, he had listened to the other voice, the one that seemed to be gaining more control of his soul with each moment that passed.

Alucard probably thought he wanted to hurt Seras but nothing was farther from the truth. He had felt a little of her blood lust and euphoria before – Pip just wanted to have it all. It sure as hell didn't seem fair that he had to just have a shadow of a life when Seras got to experience everything. Maybe if he explained it to Alucard, then the vampire would talk to Seras. Perhaps she would let him take control once in awhile. At any rate, he had to get out of this room. Seras had not left in several days and he was going stir crazy. She was sleeping now. Taking control of her body wouldn't be hard and she would probably never find out. Besides, it was not as if he was doing anything wrong.

Pip figured Alucard was probably up with Integral. He headed to her office. The sun was shining in and damned if it wasn't making him tired. He knocked on her door.  
"Sir Integral?"

"Seras? Is that you? What are you doing up at this hour?" Integral asked. "I suppose you can come in."

"I couldn't sleep." He lied.

"Oh? Is it that whole business with Pip? I had hoped things had been settled." Integral replied.

Pip found himself unable to concentrate. Not being able to have sex had taken its toll on him. He couldn't help but stare at Integral's breast. Flashes of what he did to the female vampire ran through his mind. He wanted to do it to her too. Integral's blood would probably taste incredible.

"Seras, are you listening?" Integral asked.

"Oh sorry, Boss. I was just thinking about Pip. Wondering what I should do."

"Maybe we can meet with Alucard tomorrow? I'd like his ideas on the subject."

"I guess." He said, staring at her lips hungrily. Pip could feel his hunger growing. Her hunger. "I should be going then."

"Very well." Integral got up and walked Seras to the door. There was something not right about her but she could not put her finger on it.

Just before they reached the door, Pip spoke. "I needed to ask you something, Sir."

"Yes, Seras."

Pip pushed Integral against the wall. "Did you like it when we kissed?"  
He crushed her mouth with his forcing his tongue inside her mouth. She tasted so deliciously wonderful to him and the scent of her blood was calling him. She was pushing against Seras' chest without success and gave up after a few seconds. He moved to Integral's neck, licking it with his tongue. Her blood was so very close to him but he couldn't bring himself to bite her just yet.

Integral decided she had enough. She pulled out her revolver and placed the butt of it on the head of Seras Victoria, who was being controlled by Pip, as she cocked the trigger. "I would stop now, Captain, if I were you." She stated calmly.

"I-I-I'm sorry, Boss." Pip gave Seras control of her body. There was no sense in controlling it any more. No matter what he did, she would know.

Integral could sense the change. This had to stop even if she had to get rid of the mercenary herself. How could she have been so wrong about him? "Seras?"

"Sir, why are you pointing a gun at my head?" She asked feeling bewildered.

"I'm sorry, Seras. Thank God you are all right."

Seras saw images of what he had done. Pip had almost bitten Sir Integral. "I'm so sorry, Sir. I had no idea. I-I swear."

"I believe you, Seras."

Seras fell into Integral's arms. All the events of the last few weeks had been too much. Pip could have killed Integral using her body. A few tears fell onto her cheeks. She felt like such a pathetic weakling. Alucard had told her she gave Pip too much freedom. He had been right.

Alucard picked that moment to walk in and was alarmed at the site of Integral holding his fledgling with a gun in her hand. He pried into Seras' mind and saw the events of the last hour. He pulled his fledgling away from his Master. "How could you let this happen? Are you really so weak that you would let him harm my Master?" He hollered at her.

"Alucard, leave her be. She's been through enough for today. I think he did it when she was sleeping. Coward."

"Are you okay, Master?" He asked.

"Yes, Alucard. I am quite capable of taking care of myself. This is why I carry a gun around the house."

Seras looked at them both with guilt in her eyes. "I'm sorry." She turned to leave.

"I thought I told you to take care of him. Lock him deep inside your mind if you have to, Seras, or he will be the death of you."

"I-I-I just can't."

"Then you deserve whatever he does to you." Alucard scolded her.

"Good night, Sir." Seras left the room. There really was nothing more she could say.

Pip didn't wake up until the next morning and he wished that he could continue to sleep. Images of what he almost did haunted him. The girl vampire had been different. She fed on humans and deserved to die. And so did he.

The more he thought about it, Pip realized that the dark part of him had wanted to hurt Integral. Why else would his mouth have been at her throat? He had no bad feelings towards the boss. The whole thing just didn't make a bit of sense.

_Don't deny the truth, Captain. You know why._ Alucard spoke into his mind.

_But I don't. I went to look for you Alucard. I'd never hurt the boss. She's a human, an innocent. I only killed that vampire because she was a monster._

_Stop lying to yourself, Captain. You wanted to drink my Masters blood. And do other things to her. I know what you desire. You can't lie to me. I'm not Seras._ Alucard showed Pip all of the images that he had seen inside of his mind.

Pip cringed, seeing the things that he had thought. He had wanted Integral's blood. The darkness in him wanted her dead. Then Seras wouldn't long for her. Care for her. _What have I become?_

_Yes, indeed, what have you become?_ Alucard asked as he laughed maniacally.

His mind was made up. Pip knew what he had to do. There wasn't much time either. Seras would be awake soon. If he didn't do it now before she woke up, tomorrow might be too late or he might lose his nerve. He got up, picked up the phone and dialed the number for information.

"Information, what city please?"

"London. Do you have a listing for the St. Vincent's orphanage?"


	5. Chapter 4 Kept Promise

**Chapter 4: Kept Promise**

Father Alexander Anderson sat at his desk waiting for the vampire known to him as Seras Victoria. The phone call had been most bizarre but after what he saw during the war, nothing surprised him. The Captain's soul was inside of Seras. He should have known when she returned to protect Integral. She was not the same girl he had thrown swords into and now he knew why.

Anderson sipped on his coffee remembering it all: How he had assisted in killing his former boss, hundreds of the demon's enslaved souls impaling humans and vampires alike, fighting the monster and surviving. It all seemed so very long ago, like a different lifetime. When he had passed Alucard's test, he had come back to Hellsing to recover from the injuries. He had healed well under the Hellsing's care. She had asked what he wanted for his help during the war. He had saved her life after all. A part of him had wanted her but he knew it wasn't possible, not with her pet vampire. He would never have let them be together and besides he was a priest. He went with his second choice: Remaining a priest and operating an orphanage. Maybe then he could redeem his soul. At least he hoped so. The Queen had granted him political asylum and talked to the Vatican. He could remain a priest but was never to set foot in Italy again. And Integral used her connections to get him a position operating a Catholic orphanage. Everything had worked out for him…except he still thought about **her** every damn day. He would have given everything up for her if only Integral had asked. She was the reason he had agreed to see the vampire, the only reason.

Pip arrived at the orphanage just after 9:00 AM. Father Anderson had requested that time so the majority of the children would be at school. He just hoped that Anderson would help him. The priest had been so weird on the phone. A housekeeper let him in and brought him to Father Anderson's office. He seemed just as crazy as ever.

"Good morning, Seras Victoria or should I call you Pip."

Pip grinned. "Pip." He sat down in a chair opposite the priest's desk.

"So if I'm to understand you…your soul is in the body of a vampire. Like Alucard's soul slaves, correct?" Anderson asked.

"Well kind of. I have more power then they do. I gave my blood willingly so it is kind of different. But yeah, it is kind of like that." Pip answered. Part of him wondered if he was doing the right thing. No he had to do this before he hurt her.

"So Captain Bernadette, on the phone you said some about an exorcism." He studied the vampire; she did act differently and spoke with a mixture of French and British accents.

"Well, yes sir. I'm not sure how to say it but I've been having these…. feelings, bad feelings. I want to hurt her and yet I don't. Well, I guess part of me does. I think about doing awful things to her. I don't know what is happening to me but I have to stop it."

"Why do you want to hurt her? I thought you loved the girl." Anderson replied.

The vampire's eyes grew darker as he spoke. "Why? I have to watch her do everything, feel everything second hand. I can't fight – only watch her battle. I can't have sex, but she could if she wanted to, and one day she will. It isn't fair, I gave up everything for her and I have nothing. I want to lock away her soul so I can have what she does, so she be trapped like me..." Pip couldn't believe he had just admitted to the priest how he really felt. But it was true – all of it and he hated himself for feeling that way. "I feel like a bastard for even thinking these things. I promised her that I'd protect her but I'm not sure how much longer I can protect her from me."

Anderson watched him as he spoke. The Captain was truly a tortured soul. If he could exorcise him from the vampire's body, he would be helping both him and Seras Victoria. Indirectly he would be helping Integral. "Aye, it is possible but I cannot say where your soul would go. You might be damned, Captain."

"I-I-I don't care. I'm living in hell right now. Do you know what it is like to want to hurt, to kill, someone you love?"

"Can't say I do. I do know what it is like to kill someone who trusts you. Come back at nightfall, Captain. I shall try to end your torture.

Pip didn't know how he was going to convince Seras to come back here. Or how he could keep the truth for her. She would not like what he was going to do but there was no way out. He climbed into their coffin and went to sleep. Their dreams intertwined together for one last time.

They were on the beach and the sun was setting. Seras had on a black bikini and had on a pair of cut-off shorts. There was so much he wanted to do to her right now but there wasn't time. He would have to settle for a kiss.

"Why are we here Pip?" Seras asked him.

"I don't know. It is your dream silly." He replied pulling her against his chest. In the dream her skin was warm and his was cold. He wondered what it meant. She laid her head against his chest. Pip loved the way her hair tickled his chest. He felt a chill and Seras moved away from him. She was looking out towards the beach. "What---what is it?"

Pip felt her tremble as he turned around to look. He started to shake too. Walking slowly towards him was a huge black wolf. Nothing had ever terrified him so much, not even Alucard. The beast had red eyes and the sharpest teeth on any animal that he had ever seen. They almost looked like fangs, except his mouth was full of them. Pip stood in front of Seras to protect her and started to pull his gun. Not there, he thought.

Then the animal started to talk to him. The voice chilled him down to his bones.

"Do you really think you can protect her?" The wolf asked.

"Yeah," Pip replied, although he wasn't sure.

"Then I get to rip the flesh from your bones and devour your soul. Are you ready to die for a girl? She isn't even human." The beast walked even closer to Pip and Seras.

"Wa-wa-wait. What is it that you want? Why does one of us have to die?" Pip asked him.

"You should know, Captain. I am a part of you." The wolf appeared to grin as he spoke.

"What? How could you be part of me? If you are part of me then leave. Get the hell away from me."

"Oh, I love when they get feisty. Don't you know who I am? I am your darkness, what consumes you. I cannot leave until you tell me who I can eat." The wolf licked his lips in anticipation of his meal.

_No_, he thought_, I am not going to die like this. Seras is stronger them me. She can defeat a stupid wolf_. He looked at the wolf and mouthed the name of the girl he loved. Why did he feel like a Judas? He turned to Seras and told her, "Get ready, you can defeat him. He is just an animal."

Seras looked at him with hurt and terror in her eyes. Pip wondered if he had mad an awful mistake. When the wolf jumped on Seras, he tried to stand in his way. The wolf merely knocked him down on the ground. Pip watched as the wolf ripped Seras' flesh from her skin, bit by bit. It was torture watching the wolf drink her blood and listen to her screams. Every time Pip tried to get up and stop him the wolf knocked him back down. The last thing he saw was the beast devouring something else. As the wolf gnawed at her head, a glimmering light started to come out. There was nothing else it could be but her soul. The wolf grew even large as he absorbed it.

Now it was Pip's turn to cry. The tears would not stop coming from his eyes. _What have I done? _Pip asked himself.

The wolf turned his head and grinned at Pip and spoke into his mind_. Now you have it all, Pip. Her body is yours. Her mind, her soul are gone. This is what you wanted. _

Pip watched the wolf lick his lips as he walked away. He looked at what remained of Seras Victoria. Bones. Her flesh was gone, all of it. Pip started to scream when he realized just what he had allowed to happen. The laughed of the wolf rang in his ears.

_Pip, why are you screaming? What is the matter_? Seras asked the man inside of her, rubbing her eyes.

Pip stopped screaming; realizing all of it had been part of a terrible nightmare. Something that terrible, it had to mean something, didn't it? _I'm okay now, Seras. Just a bad dream; don't you remember it?_

_I don't know. I can't remember it. I know we had a nightmare but it's just not coming to me_. She replied.

_Thank God. She won't know how truly awful _I am, he thought to himself. _I'd rather not talk about it anymore, Seras_, he told her. Pip thought he knew what the dream meant. It was a warning. Seras would end up like she did in the dream if he didn't do something fast. _I have a surprise for you, Seras but you have to trust me_.

_Surprise? What kind of surprise? _Seras asked.

_Oh, we're going to visit an old friend._ Pip explained. He felt bad about lying to her. It was something he had never done before.

_I guess so. You promise this has nothing to do with sex? The last time you had a surprise, you ended up ordering sex toys off of the website_.

"Well this is different, sex has nothing to do with it. Just trust me, cherie."

Pip drove while Seras watched from within her body to the orphanage. She had her eyes closed at his request. The darkness inside of him was growing. He thought how easy right now it would be to take control of her body. Rip her soul to shreds. _No, I can't do that. I must protect her._

They arrived at the orphanage. Seras still had her eyes shut. As he walked up to the door he told her to open them.

_An orphanage? What in the bloody hell?_ Seras glance up at the sign. The fact that is was a Catholic orphanage started to dawn on her. _Pip, I don't like this_.

_What? It is Father Anderson. He's not our enemy anymore_.

_He's not our friend either,_ she replied.

_Don't be so harsh, he is. _ Pip argued with her.

They knocked on the door and were let in by the housekeeper. She showed them into the parlor. Pip hoped the priest kept his promise. It was his last hope. He heard footsteps and the door opened.

"Good evening, Draculina." Father Anderson approached her and smiled at the vampire to put her at ease. Anderson still wasn't sure if he could go through with it. Seras would be upset when she woke up and she was a vampire, a demon.

"Hello, Father." Seras smiled back at him, starting to feel a little more comfortable. She still had no idea why Pip had brought her here.

Alexander stood by a bookcase in the room and started to approach his desk. He withdrew something from his pocket. _I can only pray that this works._

Seras tried to feel Pip's presence in her mind_. Bloody hell, Pip, you pick a fine time to go back to sleep. _She continued to look for him inside of her mind; he was the one that brought them there. "Ouch!" She screamed aloud. Something had stabbed her in the neck. That insane priest, she thought. Seras tried to turn her head to see what happened but felt Anderson's other hand grab the front of her head. He was holding it still while he plunged whatever the hell it was deeper into her neck.

Seras was pissed. She thought the priest had changed his ways. Why was he attacking her like this? Seras started to get up and push his hands away but found her strength was dwindling. _What is going on? _Her vision blurred and she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. The last thought she had before she went to sleep was of Pip and why he had done this to her, to them.

Anderson withdrew the needle. It had worked after all. Integral had gotten the drug and needle from her lab. She said it was the only drug that had sedated Alucard during her family's experiments on him. _Now I have only to wait for the Captain to appear. _

Thirty minutes after he had given the vampire a shot, her eyes opened. From the darkness in them, Anderson knew it was not her soul that was okay. "Captain, are you ready? I want to get this over with before she awakes."

Pip struggled to control the darkness in side of his soul. He could feel that part of him resisting what he was about to do. "Yes, and hurry, Father."

Anderson took him to a dark room and locked the door. He lit a few candles, just enough so he could read from the book. He had learned about exorcisms in seminary school and even seen a few performed. This would be the first time he had performed such a ritual. His services to the Vatican had been more practical. He killed his demons with blades. Anderson wasn't even sure it would work; Seras Victoria was a demon herself. Looking at her laying down even with Pip's dark eyes, he found it hard to believe. She looked more like an angel then a devil.

"Close your eyes, lass. I shall start now."

Pip closed his eyes and fought against the dark urges going through his mind. He wanted to get up, attack the priest, and drink from his neck. It was taking every bit of his strength to remain still.

Alexander Anderson started the exorcism prayer. "I adjure you, demon enemy of man's salvation, acknowledge the justice and goodness of God the Father, who by just judgment has damned your pride and envy: depart from this servant of God, whom the Lord has made in His own image, adorned with His gifts, and has mercifully adopted as His child. I adjure you, demon, deceiver of the human race, acknowledge the Spirit of truth and grace, who repels your snares and confounds your lies: depart from this creature of God, whom He has signed by the heavenly seal; withdraw from this girl whom God has made a holy temple by a spiritual unction. Leave, therefore, Satan, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit; leave through the faith and the prayer of the Church; leave through the sign of the holy Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Amen." (1)

The body of Seras Victoria shook for several minutes. Anderson did not hear any voices like he had during the exorcisms he had watched others perform. The only sign that something had left the vampire's body is that the seizures stopped, she smiled, and fell into a deeper sleep. The Captain no longer spoke to him so perhaps he had been successful. Anderson carried her into an empty room with a sofa and closed the blinds before returning to his office.

Alexander picked up the phone and dialed the number of Integral Hellsing. She would be waiting for his call.

"Hello," she answered. Her voice was filled with anxiety worried about the police girl.

"It is done, Sir Hellsing. I think you should come right away." Anderson said to her.

"Right away? Is she okay?" Integral asked.

"Aye. She is sleeping but I don't know how long drug will last. She will not be happy to find him gone." Anderson explained.

"All right, I'll leave now." Integral said as she hung up the phone.

"Well Master?" Alucard asked. He sat in a chair across from her desk.

"I don't know. I believe it went well. I'll be leaving in a few minutes so I can be there when she wakes up." She told him.

"If I have your permission, Master, I would like to go. She is my servant."

"No, Alucard, you do not have my permission. This is at Anderson's orphanage. The two of you lose what little sanity you have left, the minute you get near each other. You can see Seras when she returns."

Alucard hid the disappointment he felt. "As you wish, Master." The vampire dissolved into mist.

Integral called her current butler on the phone. "Alfred, get the car ready. I have some important business to attend to."

(1) From Latin Mass Magazine


	6. Chapter 5 Waking Up Alone

**Chapter 5: Waking Up Alone**

Anderson let Integral in. It had been months since he had seen her and she had only grown more beautiful. He berated himself for the sinful urges he felt whenever he was around her. He was happy now wasn't he? Anderson had only his orphans to care for now without the politics and distasteful duties he had working for Enrico. The knowledge that he could have had her haunted him every night. He pushed the ill thoughts from his mind and let her in.

"Good evening, Sir Hellsing." He greeted her.

"Hello, Father. Is she awake yet?" Integral asked about Seras.

"Not yet, Sir Hellsing but it should be soon. We can go wait in her room so she'll hear us."

"Thank you, Father Anderson." Integral said as she followed him into the room. Seras was still sound asleep. She wondered what her reaction would be."

They sat a small table that was next to the bed. Alexander poured Integral a glass of water as she lit a cigar.

"I thought you should know that everything went well." He said

"Oh? So the Captain's soul is no longer inside of her?" Integral asked.

"I don't believe so. We will know for sure when she wakes up."

"Well, thank you, Father Anderson for helping her, and Pip. I wish he 'd come to me. I think he was rather embarrassed after that pass he made at me."

Alexander didn't say a word. He couldn't blame the Captain for trying to kiss Integral. He only wished that he were not committed to God so he could kiss her soft lips.

"Father Anderson? Are you listening?" Integral smirked; she knew why Alexander got so distracted around her. And she loved having that power over him.

"Yes, Mam, I'm sorry. It is my duty to help tortured souls and I owed you that much." He continued to stare at her face.

They both heard Seras start to stir in the bed. Integral got up and went to her side. She stroked her hair and Sera opened her eyes. The vampire looked alarmed at first but smiled when she saw Integral.

"Sir Integral? Where am I?" She asked trying to remember the last few hours. She looked over and saw Anderson and everything came back to her: Pip convincing her to come here, Anderson stabbing her in the neck with something sharp, and then her world going black. Seras slowly got up considering her options. She didn't want lose control with Integral here.

"You're in Father Anderson's orphanage. Do you remember coming here?" Integral told her.

Seras nodded still considering attacking the priest. Then she became painfully aware that something was wrong, missing. Pip, she thought. She felt totally empty; the feeling consumed her. Looking at Alexander a new feeling was rising within her: rage. This was all his fault. He had done something to Pip; she just knew it

Seras got up and ran towards him, ignoring Integral's pleas to stop. She punched him with all of her power hard in the jaw. She smiled as the blood dripped onto the floor. She bent down on the ground and dragged her finger through his blood before sticking it in her mouth. She sucked on her finger as she moved it in and out of her mouth. This mad the Priest squirm. She laughed before she continued the fight. Seras continued to punch him hard but the Catholic just stood there, not fighting back. Taking her anger out on someone felt so liberating. She punched him for almost an hour before her muscles grew tired. When she felt Integral's hand on her shoulder, Seras stopped.

Integral pulled Seras into her arms as the vampire sobbed. It wasn't weakness. Integral herself had cried for those men she had lost. Seras was mourning the loss of her lover. She couldn't imagine how much that could hurt. Integral had never been that close to anyone. The pain was part of the reason why. It was too easy to lose someone in this business. Caring for her men, her vampire's was enough.

Seras let go of everything as Integral held her. The pain inside of her was consuming all of her. Although being in Integral's arms was a small comfort her pain grew. She was never going to see him again, hear his voice inside her head, feel him inside of her body. She almost fell asleep again as Integral stroked her hair. After awhile she knew it was time to go.

Alexander watched the two women go and shut his doors. He said a prayer for their souls and went to bed himself. The hour was late for those with human souls. As he drifted off to sleep he could think of nothing but her. The priest hoped his dreams were as pure as an angel.

In the woods, a black hound with red eyes and sharp teeth watched Integral and Seras get into the car. Alfred was driving. After they left, the hound shifted into the shape of a man. He would honor his Master's wishes and not go into the orphanage. He would fight the priest someday but now was not the right time.

From the looks of things, everything had gone as he had planned. He had not caused the darkness inside of the Captain's soul. No, that had been the man's own doing. He had, however, assured the Captain's choice to sacrifice himself. The vampire had not intended on getting involved. Seras Victoria should have taken care of his rebellion. But when the bastard made advances on Integral, he had changed his mind. He wasn't jealous; it was obvious the attention was unwanted. Alucard had however pried inside the Captain's soul and he could feel his desire, his hunger for Integral. She was his Master and no one would harm her under his watch.

Alucard chuckled as he remembering the dream he entered in his wolf form. It had been so much fun devouring Seras in the dream. The best part was the pain it caused Pip. And the dream had its desired effect: Pip sacrificed his soul to save Seras from himself. _Human, are so utterly predictable, even when they're dead._

As Alucard transformed into a black raven and started his trip back to Hellsing he thought about the Captain. He wondered just where the young mercenary's soul had ended up_. Certainly not heaven, not with all of his sins._ Purgatory was not much better then hell. He grinned thinking of the torture he would have to endure in either place. Alucard had to fight the urge to return to the paladin and tell him just what he'd done in his attempts to help. _ Another time, Alex, another time._

Seras was resting in his coffin when Alucard came inside her room. She hoped that he wasn't going to holler at her. Tonight had been bad enough.

"Master?"

He walked over to her coffin and appraised her condition. A little worn emotionally but she would be fine. "Good evening, Seras. I brought you, some blood." He tossed the bag to her.

She smiled at him. Alucard had never brought her blood. "Thank you, Master. I was going to get some in a little while."

"Don't get used to it, Seras. I had to get some for myself and it was on the way." He bit open his pack of blood and started to drink. "You'll be needed for missions right away but I guess you can have tomorrow off."

"Thank you, Master." Seras replied. "Was there anything else?" Alucard was watching her and it made her nervous as hell.

"No, I think that's it." Alucard patted her on the head before going out the door.

Seras looked at him in disbelief. "Why does he do that? Does he honesty think I'm a little kid?" She laughed as she remembered what Pip had said when he did it before. _It is better he pat you on the head then shoot you there. _


	7. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_That sound_, a mind shattering scream. Where was it coming from? The voice was so familiar and no wonder. It finally occurred to him that he was the one screaming. _Why am I screaming?_ Pip had never screamed before in his life, not even when he lost his eye. He started to shiver. _Why am I so cold? And wet?_ When he opened his eye, Pip knew now why he had been screaming. He was in a giant pit filled with freezing cold water. It hurt like hell and his skin was turning a light shade of blue. Pip tried to get up, to get out of the pit but he couldn't. His body was restrained with metal bars and chains. He had a feeling things were about to get even worst.

The sound of laughter confirmed his suspicion. It chilled him to his bones. He did not want to look but something compelled him to. Must be the same curiosity everyone has to look at the side of the road when they pass an accident. The monster's dreadful appearance matched his laugh. Or was he a demon?

"Good, you're awake. Now we can start the real fun." The demon standing on the ground above the pit was hideous. His skin was red, scaly and appeared to be rotting. He was obese and stood over 8 feet tall. The demon was bald and had only one horn. He laughed again as he pulled on a lever.

"What---" Pip started to ask.

Pip felt the effects of the pulled lever before he could finish his question. He felt himself being pulled under the freezing water. The pain from the water was burning his skin. Pip felt like he was drowning, unable to catch his breath. If he was dead why did he still breathe?

After a few minutes the demon let him back up. Pip took deep breaths. The air stunk of burning flesh but anything was better then being under water. As if the demon had read his mind, he pulled on the lever again. Before he was pulled under the water again Pip screamed.

* * *

Seras Victoria was asleep in her coffin in the basement of the Hellsing mansion just after dawn. Six weeks had passed since she had lost Pip. She had decided to start hunting vampires again. Integral and even her Master had been understanding her feelings for Pip. Integral had given her time off grieve and her Master had not interfered. She knew that he thought her feelings for Pip were stupid. He had left her alone for the most part and sometimes would bring her blood. If she hadn't known him, Seras might have thought he cared about her well-being. Now that was one idea that utterly ridiculous.

Visions started to flash in her head. First, some awful place, filled with death, monsters, and fire. Then, the sound of Pip's scream filled her mind. The last thing she saw was the sight of him in metal restraints being pulled under the water, again and again.

Seras Victoria screamed loudly in her sleep. The sound was so loud, that it woke up Integral Hellsing. She had fallen asleep last night at her desk trying working through the night. Even, Alucard was awoken from the pain he felt through his fledgling. Integral grabbed her gun before heading down to the basement. There was such pain in the vampire's voice.

Alucard entered Seras' room. Her screams were giving him a headache. He had expected to see her in mortal danger but she was sound asleep. Alucard entered her mind to find out the source of her pain. He was surprised to see it wasn't anyone after her at all. She was screaming because she saw him. Alucard wondered if their bond would ever be broken. He put his hand on her forehead to stop the vision she saw in the dream. She was his fledgling after all and he didn't like to see her suffer.

Integral entered the basement and saw Alucard by her coffin. He was watching her sleep. "Alucard, is she okay?" Integral asked.

He nodded. "She was having a nightmare, believe it or not."

"A nightmare? But she sounded like she was being hurt. Are you sure?" Integral approached the coffin. She certainly appeared to be fine.

"Yes, Master. I went inside her mind. She was dreaming about the Captain. I should've known."

"Very well. You should talk to her about how to control her dreams. She shouldn't have to suffer like that."

"As you wish, Master." Alucard replied.

"I'm going back to work. Tell Sera Victoria to see me when she wakes up." Integral said as she walked out the door.

* * *

Pip tried to think of her as the torture continued, to keep himself from thinking about the pain. If he was here, wherever here was, that meant she was safe. He smiled thinking about that fact. He had won and beaten the dark side of him. No matter what happened, no matter how much pain he had to endure, even if it was for eternity – it was worth it. Seras was safe from him. No matter how bad the torture was, living with himself after hurting her, would have been a million time worst. 


End file.
